#mom life topic

Being a mother was one thing I had wanted my entire life.  And yet, when I stared at those two pink lines nestled so innocently in the tiny circle on the white plastic stick, my world suddenly fell apart.

Summer has arrived, dethawing my frozen, winterized body.  We have waited all year long for this.  To get the kids outside without snow, to enjoy play dates at the river and afternoons by the pool.  The luxury of long, balmy evenings when it feels like time pauses. The warm air caresses my pale skin like a hug as the clouds dance with color overhead and sun just doesn’t feel like leaving the sky.

When I became a mom, I thought I was taking on one title: Mother. What I didn’t realize was how much that one short name encased a thousand smaller titles all wrapped into it.  

I dropped an entire garbage bag stuffed full of used baby clothes off at a girlfriend’s house this afternoon.  As I drove to her house, car overburdened with three kids stuffed into the back of my Honda Accord, I was taken aback by a sadness which crept inside me the closer I got to her house.  It was just used clothes.  Clothes that had filled my closets and cluttered my house and were no longer useful as my girls had grown out of all of them.